My Baby Boy

So yeah, in my dream I had a baby.

It was all very graphic. Right from when I actually had it. But it was painless, though I was freakin huge before shoving it out.

I just sat in a room alone with him in my arms. Now I think about it, at one point it became the living room in my grandmas but she wasn’t in my dream. But that was only the part outside the doirway, when they called me out to eat.

Anyways, so there’s me with my baby, showing him things out the window & talking to him. It’s wierd coz for just being born, in that part of my dream he was like a few months old, the way he was acting & stuff. Coz new borns don’t babble & they’d be lying down in your arms, he was sat on up with some support from my arms.

Then I put him to sleep on the sofa, wrapped up in loads of blankies. I think my dad came to check on us, coz I remba feeling very hostile towards whoever it was. So most likely it was him who was sitting there commenting on how I cared about my babe, wrapping him up like that.

Then everyone was calling me out to eat, but I didn’t wanna leave my baby 😦 Lol, clingy much.

Think they somehow got me out, coz later he woke up & started crying. My mom rushed to him before I could evrn move. I was at a table, where my fridge actually is (just need to remember that). But when she came back she walked right past with him.

I made kissy faces at him as he went past wailing. He stopped crying for a sec, then made grabby hands at me & started whimpering. Everyone’s like ‘Awww. He wants his mommy’. I’m like That’s my boy.

Ugh I want a baby ! But I don’t wanba get married though, coz I’m scared to be hurt & betrayed. Seen enough of that in my own family.

Then again I don’t wanna end up having an illegitimate child.

Oh yeah. And lastly, I’m scared of the pain.

Wow. A lot of things to get in the way -_-

I was so sad when I woke up to realize he was just a dream 😦 ♥